


Death's a bitch

by AkinaUchiha46



Category: Bleach, Mean Girls (2004)
Genre: Aizen - Freeform, Bleach - Freeform, Espada, Gen, grimmjow - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-02
Updated: 2019-11-02
Packaged: 2021-01-20 17:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,088
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21285554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkinaUchiha46/pseuds/AkinaUchiha46
Summary: Who says soul reapers can't be mean? After all, death's a mean bitch.
Kudos: 2





	Death's a bitch

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own bleach.

Momo hinamori: "Once Aizen stabbed me in the chest, it was amazing

Renj: "I heard he does car commercials in Japan!" (Ichigo: "No he doesn't, that's my job!!!")  


Rangiku: "That Aizen guy is hot!"  


Urahara:"I heard he does shoots for Chanél!"  


Melony:"I heard he is even stronger than Head Captian Yamamoto!"  


Loly:"His choclatey brown hair with those dreamy eyes. Pale skin that could give that Snow White girl a run for her damn money. I'd want to be choked by those hands!"  


Mila Rose:"I cannot believe I'm saying this since I'm usually dominant, but I would love to be his prey!"  


Emilou Apacci: "Girl you are fucked up! But,yeah,he's basically eye candy."  


Cyan:"Honey, none of you have a chance with him. So why don't you get back to work. Master Harribel needs your assistance!"  
\-------$------$-------$--------  
(catchy music plays)  
Grimmjow had never seen the appeal of the fancy get-together they had at the espada estate. He was only there cause Aizen forced him to join. That bastard! His internal monologue was interrupted by that pinkette, Szayelaporro , who seemed to have made it his mission to stare at him in a weird, creepy way. Damn, life was going to be hard here, and he was technically already dead!   
He wondered if the 5th Espada had been hit hard by a meteor or maybe even two or three. He seemed absolutely bonkers. At least the pink guy was bearable. His creepy,fake smile was annoying the hell out of him though. Why did he agree to join the Espada? Oh right, because Di Roy and Shawlong thought it was a good idea. Who in their right mind would trust them? But it was pretty self-explanatory that he was not in his right mind.  
How long was aizen's speech going to go on. He had pretty much zoned out at this point. He only knew one thing, Di Roy and Shawlong better have hidden into a hole by now or something really bad might happen to them and it would be just a beautiful accident!  
(2 hours later...)  
Great!! The lecture was finally over! As soon as he started to get up, that weird dude and the pinkette got up as well. And then all he knew was that they were following him like a shadow, but he already had one and did not need another two to be messing around with him. Oh well, it wouldn't kill him to talk to those guys. People seemed to be avoiding the weird one and the only companion he had was the pink guy who was very clearly gay.   
Taking a deep breath he turned around to approach the unlikely duo. He did not want to think about how they became friends, clearly they were polar opposites, but what do you know, they say opposites attract. Did that mean they were dating though?  
Well, too late to think about that now, they were approaching him and, well frankly, he didn't give a shit.  
"Well hello there! New recruit I suppose? The last one sucked!" said Nnoitora.  
"To be honest, you're right! He was pretty bad. But you, you are a regulation hottie." Said szayelaporro.  
"Well thanks, I guess." Said grimmjaw.  
"If I get half my hair dyed in this shade of blue would people still think I'm gay?" Szayelaporro suddenly asked Nnoitora.  
"Honestly, nobody cares." Nnoitora replied.  
"Anyways kid, better watch out, they're here. Just look at them. Honestly, if we had a magazine they would be on the front page." said szayelaporro.  
God help me get away, now I know what pure torture was. Clearly the pinkette was obnoxious and annoying, working on his personality might be something he should actually pay attention to, rather than worrying about being gay. Who cares about shit like this? Him apparently. I could hear his annoying voice piercing my eardrum. I have no idea what he was talking about. I think I caught the words better watch out and something about a magazine. What are they saying now? Some guys hair? Dumbest person in hueco mundo? No idea.   
"Hey!! Are you even listening to me!?" said pinky.  
"What were you saying?" Said grimmjow.  
"I was just telling you about Gin Ichimaru! I can't believe you weren't paying attention!! How do you expect to live here of you don't know anything about the people!" Pinky exclaimed

" You have a point." Hm, let's see. What about that guy who, I don't know, epically failed at putting on his 200 year old face paint. Someone needs to tell him he looks like an epic fail. "What about the green bat-guy over there?"  
"Oh that, that's ulquiorra, you don't need to bother yourself with him. Nobody really cares about him. Although he would be hotter if he cared about his looks a bit more." Nnoitara.  
" Who would've though the macho nnoitara would care about other people's looks and consider them to be hot." Pinky   
"So who is that oldie sitting over there?" Grimmjow asked. He wasn't trying to be rude but that man looked like he was tired of his life and wanted to project his shitty attitude towards others who would deal with his bullshit.   
"I'd advise you to just ignore him. That's all I can say about him really, if you will be nice to him, his already inflated ego will swell to the point of bursting!" Said pinky.  
At this point, they were interrupted by a scream of ,"You useless scum! what the hell is wrong with you, you bastard! I told you we should greet the newcomer. Why the frick are you so lazy!".  
The source of the scream turned out to be a little blonde girl with a hella annoying voice. Grimmjow's first instinct was to shut her up in the most painful way possible which he acted upon by throwing the nearest refreshment table at the girl. This resulted in linnet crushed between the table and the wall, with food spilled all around her (much to the dismay of the onlookers).   
At this moment the subject of the girl's tirade uttered a very loud, very noticeable, "Ahem" and grimmjow noticed a man over 6 feet tall with brown, shoulder-length hair and light brown eyes, who was the first espada if grimmjow wasn't mistaken. He looked like he wanted to kill someone and it didn't take a genius to figure out that that 'someone' was probably going to be grimmjow. Guess he shouldn't go around beating up people's bitches.


End file.
